I’m convinced there’s a 78% chance that there will be post-novel gay hijinks and this review reflects that fairly heavily! HOMOPHOBES, YOU SHALL NOT PASS.

The Body of Christopher Creed was a Printz Honor Book in 2001 and I read it as per my goal to read all the winners and honor books. Out of all the ones I’ve picked up besides John Green’s this is my favorite. Not very many people have read it and the folks I have found that have either didn’t like it or didn’t see anything I saw in it. I am putting everyone on notice: READ THIS BOOK and then come write some really gay fanfiction with me, okay? I’m so serious. There needs to be post-novel fanfiction and that fanfiction needs to include boys making out. Just so we’re clear; my motives are selfish and include sexy times.

There is a lesson in this book, but the lesson isn’t conveyed with metal knuckles and moralizing. Torey goes through a lot of obvious and circular logic to arrive at that lesson, though, but that’s due to me being old and crotchety. The lesson is joined by pancakes with names and different flavors of syrup and maybe this metaphor has failed. Yes, they’re stereotypical and not really surprising, but they would be familiar to young readers. This doesn’t make it any better, though! Aim for three-dimensions, authors! It is so worth it. I’m not even going to kid about caring so much, because we all know the reason that I love this novel has more to due with boy-on-boy crushes than deep, meaningful friendships forged in times of woe.

There’s the gentle giant and whore-with-a-heart-gold gimmicks and the clueless sidekick and the bitchy, hypocritical popular chick. The Obligatory Girlfriend fits in, too—at the beginning of the novel, Torey talks about another girl besides this girlfriend, but doesn’t give her name. He’s very focused on Fitting In, and the references/treatment of his “girlfriends” plus how he reacts to whore-with-the-heart-of-gold make my mind go one direction, and that direction is G-A-Y. It’s okay, Torey! I promise you university will help you shed this shaky costume you cling to called heterosexuality! Swear! I could be wrong here, though, because for some reason when I finished this book I had the feeling Plum-ucci didn’t want the reader to draw any conclusions from the text about Torey’s sexuality. Torey is stamped as the Heterosexual Poster Boy in the beginning and is actively hostile to homosexually-coded characters. Perhaps she thought “Oh shit, wait, this is kind of gay.” and tried to ret-con in final drafts? More on this later, with bonus spoilers.

Okay, the mystery is this book is Chris’s disappearance but also the mystery of a town with secrets. However, I thought the ending was a little too predictable. The author practically dumps it in our laps and I’m not sure if that’s a reading-experience thing or if she meant for us to get it. Whatever the case, I had too much of an inkling before it went down. It doesn’t ruin the book—there’s plenty of suspense (it is supposed to be suspenseful, after all) and most of the pull for me was Torey figuring out things for himself. Cheering for Torey? Yes! Wanting to punch him in the head? Yes!

I also don’t think the name or the title was an accident. Chris = Christ. Body of Chris = Body of Christ which Torey refers to at least twice. He’s searching for Chris’s body and Chris in the story. I’ve been visiting Amazon again where I am likely to have a stroke from rage, where negative reviewers immediately look at the language and the references to suicide and sex and they deride the story as anti-Christian. They fail to see the FLAMING RELIGIOUS REFERENCES SLAPPING THEM IN THE FACE. I’m pretty sure if this message was any bigger it would reach through the pages and throttle them to death. It’s so easy: Torey has his faith shaken, he mistreats something that was always there, loses it, has his world turned upside down and fights against his need for this something, rejects it outright and then goes on a journey to reclaim it. This can equal Chris or Jesus, the stand in for Torey’s Faith. Paired with other details in the story I fail to see how this story is anti-Christian-morals. I want to rip the blinders off sometimes. Violently.

Everyone’s got a blind spot, man. Everyone.

Now for the spoiler-filled portion of our program! Do not go past this point until you read the book, which you’re definitely going to do, right? Right now? You’re adding it to your reading list this very moment? Good.

Out of all the different secondary characters, I thought Leandra was the most useful. Torey is already questioning Christianity and his girlfriend embodies his social status, his “normality” and his world view. To reject her is interesting because she is introduced to us as a proper Christian girl on the outside, while dealing with the inevitable gossip that takes place in any social group. Torey eventually becomes so frustrated with everything that she’s one of the first things he relieves himself of. I don’t think this was an accident given the other religious commentary that takes places at the beginning and end of the book. Christianity—the ultimate liar. The religion where many people need their lies to keep their faith which translates to any kind of faith—in social order, family harmony and normalcy.

I was really disappointed to learn that although the resolution was interesting, it’s best not researched. I know it interested me enough to look it up, and then actually do some digging. The event that drives sends Torey bugfuck-crazy is implausible based on my favorite thing, science! Something as unique as immaculate decomposition—the term used in the book and I used several other search strings—would be easily located via Google (where curious teens might go).I found nothing using the term,and everything I found using my strings said that what takes place at the end is impossible.

Perhaps Plum-ucci just did different research—I’d like to look up the Indians referenced and go from that perspective to see if that’s part of their lore and connected to the ghost bits. Speaking of the ghost bits, wow, they were awkward. I’m not sure what they were supposed to relate to (Holy ghosts! Holy grounds! Holy moly!) and missed the point completely.

Torey doesn’t find Chris at the end. The last few letters in the novel from people who Torey has sent his document to excite me as well as disappoint. The first because some of them are neat and the second because I feel like it was the place where Plum-ucci is showing all her cards in her own voice outside the story. It’s very much a case of “MAI AUTHORIAL INTENTZ, LET ME SHOW U IT.” It’s been pointed out that perhaps that one of the letters is supposed to be Chris himself, under his assumed name (G-A-Y) but even so it doesn’t mean Torey finds him. It must be mutual and include boys kissing. One person can’t be in the dark.

Something I did find odd in retrospect: Torey feels all this guilt about mistreating Chris, but then is dismissive of (and maybe cruel to if the prank is considered) Leo, the boy that reminds Torey so much of Chris. He does make a point of saying that Leo isn’t nearly as bad as Chris, but it feels weird to have Tory arrive at the end of his story, still making a mockery of people who, as he puts it, “make waves.” It almost undoes everything he went through. It’s nice to seem him apologize at the end for freaking out at Leo, but he’s still dealing with a social structure that he wants to belong to when he really doesn’t fit. He comments on how people lie to themselves the whole novel and end of the novel he’s still lying to himself by saying how he wishes he could treat Chris better while still treating people who act like him a little worse than everyone else. It’s one thing to change hearts, which I think Chris did, but it’s another to change minds. Perhaps Torey will reach a place when he finds Chris (Jesus! Faith! Faith in himself!). He’s still stuck in his old behaviors because his search for Chris—and himself—is still going.

And maybe I’m just kidding myself and want healing make-out sessions and possibly hot sex when Chris reveals himself to Torey (which I think is the way it would happen). I’m predictable! Shut up, guys, I’m a slasher, I’m allowed.

None!