I have this weird relationship with books by Maureen Johnson. Either they really work for me or they feel flat because I can’t believe the relationships. This is my third book by her, her first book with Scholastic, and I feel like saying that means that somehow I was magically going to love it? Unfortunately that sounds like I didn’t and I did, I actually have almost zero problems with this novel! It’s abnormal! Even with Johnson’s books I’ve liked there’s been something that bothered me, so the fact that I consumed this book in something like six hours disturbs me.

This! This is the type of novel I want to write, these kinds of hilarious, interesting, flawed relationships.

Well, except for the one-dimensional parents. I mean, they could have had a little depth! It is a pity they were so there, yet not there at all. Parent A and Parent B, left by the wayside until useful as a plot point! Please. I don’t know, but this family novel was more a sibling novel than a family novel, because the parents were just flat.

There’s such a sense of drama in this story, and not just because of Spencer and his theater group, not just because of Mrs. Amberson, some kind of actress with loads of cash to burn and revenge plots to put into place. It’s the fact that we walk into this story that already has so many stories in progress: Lola’s troubles with spoiled rich kids and what it means to be middle-class in New York City, Marlene’s background story, so deftly woven into Scarlett’s but not overtaking it because it’s Scarlett’s story, Spencer’s trouble with his life as an actor versus a life as a chef in the hotel he definitely doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life working in—these siblings and their troubles felt so real (I am sad I can’t put “family” there).

And while I’m frothing over how awesome the characters were, I guess I can just add a paragraph of pure pulsing and unbridled joy for the dialogue, for the references, for the beautiful, beautiful snark between Scarlett and Spencer, and how awesome Mrs. Amberson was, with her health kicks and habits of throwing large amounts of cash around and her pleasure in sneaky antics and love for theater.

Guys! The dialogue. Oh my god, I don’t know what Johnson has been doing with her dialogue in the past, but this novel! She needs to do this every time, and if so I will forever declare myself the president, vice-president, secretary and treasurer for the Maureen Johnson Appreciation Society. It’s a lot of work, but I think I would do it.

Even with the questionably characterized parents.

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